Got a tween/teen?
Just. Keep. Swimming.
I ran across a handful of survival tips for the tween/teen years for parents articles recently. One particular stuck out by Katie Hurley, LCSW, website Practical Parenting. Here’s her list and some I added.
Parenting Survival Tips for the Tween/Early Teen years:
- Be a parent (respectful one of course), not a friend – They need help during this confusing time as they experience massive physical and emotional changes. Help them cope and handle difficult situations.
- Set clear expectations – Rules and limits should grow with their age. Give them some wiggle room to be themselves but teach them balance between asserting themselves and adhering to limits.
- Communicate often – listen first respond accordingly. Tell them about your day too. Communication is two ways.
- Help them find their strengths – Confident tweens make good choices.
- Make time for one-on-one face to face (let them choose the activity and lead the conversation)
- Make sure there is a feeling of safety and security at home.
- When the stress hits, give them or yourself space if needed.
- Avoid responding to anger with anger.
- You will hear go away or leave me alone. It’s normal. Don’t take it personal. At some point, they will need a safety net and need to know you will always be there for them to be their guide and to help them when they want or need you the most.
- A sense of humor helps!
- When they (tween/teen) seems the most unlovable is when they need our love the most.
- When angry, speak an octave softer rather than louder.
- Don’t take their attitude or behavior personally.
- Find your strengths and take care of yourself, (put on your own oxygen mask before putting on the child’s)
ADDED from Parents at our November PTO meeting:
“Say 4 positives to 1 negative.”
“Let them fail, especially when they are under your roof.”
“Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
“Pick your battles and pray a lot!!!”
“Ask on Friday if there is a homework assignment due Monday.”
“Give 30 mins. “chill time” after school before asking a bunch of questions.”
“Don’t kill them ☺”
“Encourage them to be themselves. Dare to be different and be unique.”
“Don’t dread Middle school: all 4 of my kids loved it.”
“Choose your battles.”
Any Survival tips you’d like to share? How have you navigated the ups and downs of the tween/teen years? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you’d like to add to the list! I will post on our webpage http://www.cimarronpto.com